I was driving home late from work yesterday feeling really
defeated, overwhelmed, and discouraged. I’ve been coping with some really
difficult situations at work and lately it feels like the hits just keep
coming. I had spent over 90 minutes seeking counsel from a wise and trusted
mentor and still felt like I just couldn’t see a way to make things better. And
then, while I was driving, it hit me. A solution just clicked into place and I
had it. I ran it over in my mind a couple times, trying to check all the angles,
and it seemed good. More, it felt right. It felt right in a deep, solid way
that I trust, a feeling like two pieces locking into place somewhere behind my
heart. So I called my mentor back that evening and checked it with her, and she
thought it might be workable too. So then I pitched it to my immediate
supervisor today and she is also tentatively in favor. It’s a really different
approach but I think I might actually be able to make this happen, which would
be a really, really good thing. Not just from my personal perspective, but I
actually think this would be a much better solution for my entire department to
accomplish a couple tasks in a more efficient, effective way.
What I’ve learned over time is that my intuition shows up in
those deep body feelings. For me, intuition is a solid sense of rightness and
surety that is actually a physical sensation in my chest when something is
right, or, sometimes, a deep sense of “yucky” that feels a little sick to my
stomach when something is really wrong. I don’t get those feelings very often,
maybe 4-5 times total over my life, but when I have them I’ve learned to pay
attention because they’ve always been right. I wonder what feelings other
people have; I suspect it’s probably different. One of the best explanations of
intuition I’ve read is that intuition is your mind coming up with an answer
outside the system of logical processing we rely on so heavily in American
culture. Which I think is really interesting when I put it together with some
of the reading I’ve done on mindfulness and brain function. There is some
research that shows that cognition (thinking) is actually a whole body
function, not just a brain function. Our sense of interoception (our perception
of the internal state of our bodies) plays a huge role in how we perceive external
events and thus in how we assess our surroundings and make choices. And it is
well established in psychiatric circles that our implicit memory (the memories
that don’t feel like memories, like memories of how you do things or deeply
internalized experiences) profoundly influences our current perceptions and
experiences.
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