I am still working on my mindfulness project, in and around
all the other events in my life. I find that it does tend to get pushed to the
back burner as I get busy, but I think that is probably when I most need to be
practicing mindfulness. Which continues to be very hard for me to do; something
in me strongly resists sitting down quietly for 10-15 minutes on a regular
basis and engaging in a mindfulness practice. I know the benefits but somehow
when it comes down to it I always find something else I’d rather be doing.
One of the benefits research demonstrates of a mindfulness
practice is increased compassion and less burnout as a physician. That sounds
pretty good to me, and my guess is that it would sound good to my patients too.
Dr. Daniel Siegel writes about this in his book “The Mindful Therapist.” In
Chapter 4 he focuses on trust, and how the practices of presence, attunement
and resonance create a space in which people can trust, a space in which it is
safe to be vulnerable. Most developmental psychologists would agree that our
first experience of trust comes with our parents, when we are very small and
very vulnerable infants. Our parents, by consistently and lovingly meet our
needs, make that state of utter dependency safe. As infants we can relax, secure
in knowing that our parents will accurately perceive and adequately meet our
needs. We experience a loving connection that has been shown to have a profound
impact on brain development itself. This pattern is internalized in our deepest
implicit memories, and translates into the capacity to trust self, environment
and others as an adult.
Mindfulness practices as an adult can build our capacity for
trust. One specific mindfulness practice is a loving kindness meditation. I’ve
heard a version of this many times. It consists of a few short phrases; the
ones Dr. Siegel uses are: May I be happy and live with a joyful heart. May I be
healthy and have a body that gives me energy. May I be safe and protected from
harm. May I live with the ease that comes from well-being. These phrases are
repeated first with intention towards the self, next towards a dearly loved
person (changing pronouns as appropriate, of course), next towards a neutral or
casual acquaintance, then again towards someone you are experiencing hostility
towards or from, then to the entire creation of living beings, and then finally
once again toward the self. In repeating these phrases consistently the neurons
in the brain actually grow in new ways that promote a greater sense of
well-being, connection with others, and trust.
Mindfulness also increases our ability to be open to truth,
to recognize and address the truth in our lives. Which is something that most
of us aren’t good at. We lie to ourselves, although perhaps lie is the wrong
word because frequently our self-deception is not anything so deliberate or
conscious. We lie to others, also unconsciously although at times consciously
as well. At other times we are just mistaken, caught up in what we perceive in
the moment as it bounces off our memories of past events and creating
interpretations that generate a storm of emotional reactions. Unfortunately at
times these intepretations just don’t match the current reality of our
experience. Mindfulness exercises help us separate our sense of “me” from what
we are currently thinking and feeling so that we can build a calm space from
which to look at ourselves and our world. We can then function in a more
adaptive way; Dr. Siegel uses the word integrated and describes an integrated
state with the acronym FACES (flexible, adaptive, coherent, energized and
stable). Which sounds like a great way to live life.
It makes sense to me that with a greater sense of trust in
myself, a greater sense of compassion and connection with others, and a greater
ability to perceive and respond to truth a physician would be less vulnerable
to burnout and also more effective. I know the times in my life that I’ve felt
the closest to being burnt out were the times I felt disconnected and focused
on my own perceptions of lack. It’s not a good state to be in, for me as a
doctor or for the patients I encounter when I’m in that place. So this week I
am committing to start each day with the loving-kindness meditation. The more I
can do to mindfully care for myself, the better for everyone around me.
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